I figure out one exit strategy for myself.
That is trying to forget myself and think about you and others.
Do you know that I light up candles for you each night in front of Buddha and just pray for your health, happiness and smile?
No matter what happened to me today, I did cry and frustrate, I was sad and given up.
I am still happy that the light I lighted for you each night stills arise and it shall be here in my heart forever.
May all the beings rested in Lotus Land.
Let's light up the light in heart and this time I am the person who need your light to save my soul.